The Closer I Get
by inmyeyes
Summary: RT: "Over and over again, I try to tell myself that we could never be more than friends. When all the while, inside I knew it was real- the way you make me feel." (One-shot)


**Written for TRORY SECRET VALENTINE (trory.de-nile.net): **

**Things to include: **

(1) A happy ending   
(2) If it's a future fic, that the characters evolved with the time that went by   
(3) The excitement of the chase   
(4) Hitting realizations   
(5) I don't mind AUs, as long there is an explanation so you can understand the situation 

**Things not to include: **

(1) Out-of-character characters,   
(2) No violence in the relationship 

**Author's note: **The requirements for this fic are pretty general, which made things a bit tough for me, so I hoped I satisfied them. Although I think there isn't quite "excitement of the chase". (Eek! I tried, I'm sorry.) Inspired by "The Closer I Get To You" by Beyonce feat. Luther Vandross, from which the lyrics in the summary are from. 

**

* * * * *   
The Closer I Get   
by inmyeyes 

**

Thank goodness Lorelai hated pink dresses. She still remembered Madeline's wedding, where she had had to wear that god-awful pink bridesmaid dress that reminded her of cotton candy. 

"Always the bridesmaid, never the bride," her grandma had once commented, the not quite veiled hint obvious to her. She didn't mind it. Much. Unless she had to wear ugly frilly pink dresses. 

Today, she didn't mind it at all. Nope, not one bit. She was wearing a lovely tulle gown of the lightest blue- no frills, no ruffles, no lace, but just a simple, understated, elegant gown. Being the daughter of the bride did have perks after all. 

Not that her mother needed any more good karma; glancing across the dance floor, she caught sight of Lorelai's beaming face as she danced with her husband. After numerous starts and stops in their relationship, after years of unspoken feelings, it was so deeply gratifying to see the two of them together. As Lorelai coaxed a smile from him, Luke's eyes met hers and she gave him a thumbs up that made a corner of his lips twitch. Lorelai turned around, saw Rory and beamed a bright smile at her. 

Sipping the last of her champagne, her eyes roamed around the crowded town square. It seemed like everyone in town had turned up for the wedding reception: Miss Patty was holding court at one of the tables, reminiscing loudly about how beautiful her first wedding reception had been, Kirk was dancing with his mother, Babette and Morey were at the buffet table, for their second helping of food. She caught side of Lane and Dave, sitting together at a table in the far corner, leaning close and whispering to each other. The sight made her smile, but also made her feel slightly wistful. 

Shaking that feeling away, she put down the empty flute and decided to mingle. She had barely taken a step when she heard someone call her name. Turning, she saw Paris waddling her way towards her. Five steps behind her, Jess slowly sauntered, an almost bored expression on his face. 

"Paris! I thought you were on shift this weekend," Rory exclaimed, hugging her close friend and smiling over Paris' shoulder at Jess. 

"I was, but Phillip agreed to cover for me, so we came as quickly as we could." 

Jess' lips quirked in a half-smile. "Actually, she threatened Phillip with bodily harm. He gave in; you know how scary she can be when she doesn't get her way." 

Paris shot her husband a dirty look. "Watch it, Mariano, or else I'll make you accompany me to another Lamaze class." She didn't hide her satisfied smile when Jess blanched at her threat. 

Rory smothered a laugh. "Whatever it is, I'm glad you're here. You should go say hello to Luke; he was hoping you'd make it." 

"C'mon, Gellar," Jess held out his arm to her, which she accepted with a light huff, still disgruntled over his earlier comment, "I wanna go wish Uncle Luke 'Good luck' in dealing with Lorelai for the rest of his life." 

Watching the departing couple bicker playfully, Rory let out a low sigh. Paris and Jess- who would've thought? But they somehow fit perfectly together, and Rory couldn't be happier for them. She had been Paris' maid-of-honour, and as she had watched them say their wedding vows under the beautifully ornate chuppah built by Luke, she had felt tears come to her eyes. They weren't the most outwardly affectionate of couples, but Rory was well aware that their love was strong. 

  
"Don't tell me you're still pining for Mariano." The semi-amused whisper brushed her neck, precipitating tingles down her spine. It could only be one person. 

"Yes," she proclaimed in a theatrically disappointed tone, "I'll pine forever. Don't tell Paris." 

  
A low, husky chuckle tickled her ear and she steeled herself against her reaction to him. "She'd kill you, and I wouldn't want to see that pretty throat of yours slit." 

Rory looked over her shoulder, her eyes colliding with bright blue ones filled with mirth. Shaking her head, she grinned, "No, I think she'd use poison; cleaning up all that blood would be too messy." 

Tristan laughed. Only when the tinkle of feminine laughter echoed his did she notice the woman on his arm. 

"And we all know how anal Paris is about cleanliness!" she quipped. 

"Laurie, meet Rory Gilmore, one of my best friends. Rory, this is Laurie Adams." 

Rory felt something oddly painful unfurl in her stomach, but hid it with a smile. "Hi Laurie, it's nice to meet you." 

The petite blonde laughed airily, "Believe me, the pleasure's all mine. Tristan's told me a lot about you." 

Her gaze swung to Tristan, her eyes narrowed. "Oh really?" 

Laurie grinned. "Don't worry, it was all good." 

"I know all the stupid and illegal things you did in college, DuGrey," Rory warned. "You burn me, I burn you." 

Tristan gasped loudly. "Oooh, I'm so scared." The comment earned him a loud smack on his arm. "And besides," he added, smiling angelically, "I never did anything illegal. Stupid, yes. Illegal, I don't think so." 

"You have no secrets from me, Tristan DuGrey, so don't feign innocence. Remember sophomore year? When you-" 

He held up a hand to stop her. "Okay, fine, you win." 

"Honestly," Laurie interrupted, "It really was all good." 

"So where's the woman of the day?" Tristan asked, changing the subject. He held up a large wrapped package. "I have a gift that I'm sure she'll love." 

Rory's jaw dropped. "Don't tell me you got her those limited edition Hello Kitty plates?" 

His grin broadened. "I got her the whole set: plates, bowls, cutlery and glasses." 

She groaned. "Luke is gonna hate you." 

"Wanna watch the fireworks?" he invited, strolling towards the happy couple with a perplexed Laurie beside him. 

After a moment's hesitation, she followed. This, she had to see. 

* * * * *

"You are evil, you know that?" she commented, her hands clutching his broad shoulders as he twirled them around the makeshift dance floor. 

He smiled at her. "So you've told me. Many, many times." 

A comfortable silence borne of years of knowing each other settled over them as they moved to the sounds of a Frank Sinatra song. The unsettled feeling in her stomach that had emerged the moment she had seen Laurie with him was only growing as the evening progressed. As she surreptitiously watched the two of them, the emotion slowly but surely made itself known to her. 

It was Jealousy, rearing it ugly head. 

She had forced her eyes away from the attractive couple, and distracted herself by seeking Paris out and asking about the baby. But her respite didn't last long; Tristan asked her to dance and as she laid her hand in his, Paris had given her a pointed look. 

Warmly encased in his arms, Jealousy's wings stopped fluttering, to be replaced by a tingly feeling that made her heart race and coloured her cheeks with a faint glow. She refused to let that emotion name itself. She had successfully clamped it down for almost a year now, and she wasn't about to let her defenses down now. 

"I have something serious to ask you," Tristan said tentatively, breaking the silence. At her nod, he went on, "You aren't still pining for Jess, are you?" 

There was a shocked pause, before Rory answered. "No, I'm not. I've told you before: whatever that had been between us that died years and years ago." 

Tristan seemed to consider this. "I know, but you just seemed so… wistful just now." 

She looked away from his questioning gaze, her eyes accidentally resting on Paris and Jess who were also dancing together. Her eyes clouded over with longing for a moment. "It's not Jess I want; it's what they share that I envy." 

Turning his head to look at the couple, he had to agree. "I remember you crying at their wedding." 

Surprised, she said, "You saw that?" Her smile was self-conscious. "It was a beautiful ceremony." 

"I kinda thought you were crying over Jess," he confessed. 

"What?" her eyes widened. She kept her eyes on him, searching them, and found that he was saying the truth. "You've thought all this time that I'm still in love with Jess?" 

He shifted his eyes away from hers. "Sort of." 

Rory laughed disbelievingly. "You could have just asked me, you know." 

Tristan just shrugged. 

"Alright then, just to make things 100% clear: I am not in love with Jess. I'm in love with-" Catching herself in time, she bit her tongue and hoped that Tristan wouldn't press the issue. Her hopes were for naught. 

"So you are in love with someone?" His smile was easy but she thought she saw something flicker in his eyes. 

It was her turn to shrug. 

The song they were dancing to tapered off and segued into a slower melody as she recognized as "At Last". She saw Lorelai slink away from the band and narrowed her eyes when Lorelai grinned broadly at her and mouthed "Go for it", punctuating her advice with puckered lips. She resolved to 'accidentally' drop one of her mother's new Hello Kitty plates (which had been proclaimed the Best Wedding Present) in retaliation. 

Her plan of defence was to change the subject: "So, what's up with Laurie?" 

  
Tristan gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean," she answered, ignoring the pang in her chest, "how serious is it?" 

"I still don't understand you." 

"How long have you been dating her?" she asked, exasperated. 

For a beat, he just stared at her. Then, he burst out laughing. "Rory, Laurie is my cousin." 

Jealousy's wings were paralyzed in mid-air and the cool wind of relief forced it away. 

"Oh," came her meek answer as she lowered her eyes in embarrassment. 

  
"Rory, I-" 

"Pretty Boy, I need to steal my daughter from you for a sec," Lorelai interrupted. "Maid of honor duties." 

Rory inwardly heaved a sigh of relief. She reversed her decision on the Hello Kitty plates- maybe she'd even help Lorelai convince Luke to use them everyday. Shooting Tristan an apologetic look, she let her mother drag her away. 

* * * * *

Rory stared stupidly at the bouquet of tulips in her hands. Damnit. Why did the damn thing fall into her hands? 

"Rory, how lucky for you to have caught the bouquet!" Emily Gilmore exclaimed happily, giving her granddaughter a hug. 

"Um… yeah," Rory agreed, smiling for effect. "How lucky." 

"Are you seeing anyone?" she asked her favourite question. 

Rory hid a grimace. "No." 

"What about Tristan?" Emily demanded. "I thought the two of you were dating." 

Jealousy had morphed into Disappointment, which was taking the chance to tie her stomach in knots. "We're just friends, grandma." 

Emily looked unconvinced. 

Rescue came in the form of Luke, who asked Rory to dance with him. Rory gratefully agreed, passing the tulips to her grandma for safekeeping. 

"Thanks for the save," she smiled at Luke, as they danced. 

"I recognized the look on your face; it's the look Lorelai has when she's overwhelmed by Emily and wants help." 

They shared grins. 

  
"I know I've said this already, but I want to say it again," Rory began, "I'm so unbelievably happy for you and mom." 

  
Happiness lit up Luke's eyes. "So am I. And I never thought Lorelai and I would get to this point." He paused for a moment, thinking of all they had been through. "Lorelai & I were trapped in this intricate dance for years, just skating around the feelings that were there. And then I sort of gave up, and when moving on didn't work, I realized that my love for her wouldn't just go away." 

  
"And then, you told her," Rory filled in. "And at last, everything has turned out all right." 

"So what's going on with you and Tristan?" came Luke's direct question. 

Hiding her disconcertment from his question, she tried to sound nonchalant. "Nothing." 

"How long have you known him, Rory?" 

Rory shot him a weird look; Luke knew how long. "Since college." 

"And you two are close friends." 

Rory decided to humour Luke and answer questions that he already knew the answers to. "Yes, we are." 

"And you've been dancing around each other," Luke concluded. 

"We're friends, Luke. That's all," Rory said firmly. 

"Your mom told me about your history with him at Chilton." 

"So?" 

Luke gave her a stern look. "I know you, Rory, and I know the signs- I've lived through them." His voice softened. "You're falling in love with him." 

Rory's denial was vehement. "I am not." 

Luke ignored her. "I'm not the best person to be giving out love advice, but Rory, tell him how you feel." 

"Whatever for?" Rory asked, sounding resigned. "It'd be an exercise in futility." 

He looked knowingly at her. "I think you'd be surprised at the response you'll get." 

* * * * *

Tapping the blonde on her shoulder, Rory asked, "Laurie, have you seen Tristan?" 

Breaking away from her conversation with Jeremy, who worked at the Dragonfly Inn, Laurie answered, "He's been looking for you actually. I have no idea where he is, sorry." 

Leaving the pair, she walked to the edge of the dance floor and scanned the room. 

A callused hand gripped her arm. "Rory," said Jess, "follow me." 

Stumbling slightly on her heels, she let Jess lead her away from the crowd and onto the empty street. "Where are we going? I need to find Tristan." 

Jess let out an impatient grunt. "That's what I'm doing; that idiot made me his errand boy." 

Rory stifled a laugh. 

The sounds of laughter, conversation and merry-making slowly faded into the background. Taking note of their route and the surroundings, Rory realized where Jess was taking her. "The bridge?" 

"Yeah, he wanted to speak to you in private," Jess replied. 

"Oh." 

A few minutes later, the wooden structure came into view, moonlight gleaming off the still water and giving the area a romantic glow. She saw Tristan pacing, running his fingers through his already disheveled hair. The sight made her smile. 

"I have a message from my esteemed wife," Jess offered, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. "She said not to screw this up." 

"Okay, then. I'll try not to." 

They both grinned, then Jess unexpected enveloped her in a hug before pushing her forward. 

  
After taking a moment to gather herself, she ventured forward. The sound of her footsteps on the bridge made him look up. 

"Jess," she said, looking back but finding he was gone, "brought me here." 

A tense silence lingered for a few moments before both of them simultaneously burst out. "I need to tell you something." 

"Jinx!" Rory called out, grinning widely. "I get to speak first." As she made her way towards him, she tried to control her nerves. Finally, the moment of truth: Anxiety crawled through her blood, heightening her awareness of him and her awareness of how entirely important this moment was to her. 

This was all. Or nothing. 

She took his hand, brought him to the edge of the bridge and sat down. Sitting down in her dress was a challenge and in the end, she just pulled the material up until it gathered and spilled around her knees. Slipping her shoes off, she dipped her feet in the cool water. Finally, she shifted until she faced him. 

"You're one of my best friends, Tristan," she started, reaching for his hands. The feel of his fingers reassuringly curling around hers gave her courage. "I never expected that, not after Chilton, but when we met again at Yale, our friendship began and developed so naturally. And now, here we are." His fingers squeezed hers, and she returned the gesture. 

Rory took a deep breath. "But lately, I've been feeling that it's not enough. The closer I get to you, Tristan, the more I want. I- can't- it just won't go away. I think- I might be falling in love with you, Tristan. Well, actually," she tripped over her words, "I know I already am. In love with you, that is." 

Fear clutched her heart and she quickly drew her gaze away from him, afraid to see rejection in his eyes. 

"I have a confession to make." 

Her breath caught in her throat as she heard his words. 

"You said you know all my secrets, but that's not true. There's one thing you don't yet know." 

He lifted their clasped hands until they rested against his heart; the gesture made her look up. 

"I've made no secret of the fact that I had a crush on you in Chilton." She blushed, remembering that conversation that had happened during one drunken night. "I thought I had outgrown it, and I have. Because what I feel for you now is much, much deeper." 

Fear's grip loosened, its tentacles cut by the rushing tide of disbelieving wonder. 

"I never said anything, 'cos I thought you still cared for Jess. But when you told me that wasn't true… I just felt that I had to try. I had to tell you that I love you." 

"And now, here we are," Rory whispered. 

His smile was tender and the brush of his fingers across her cheek was whisper soft. But it was the love in his eyes that captivated her. 

"Can I kiss you?" was his shy request. 

The first touch of lips made her breath catch; it was tentative and slow, filled with the wonder of love newly revealed. The second kiss was firmer, more demanding as his lips hungrily tasted her. She wound her arms around his shoulders, fingers delving into his soft hair as she eagerly reciprocated his kiss. When he tried to pull her closer, the mass of tulle obstructed him and the kiss broke away with laughter filling the air. He kissed her temple before helping her up, then immediately drawing her into his embrace. 

She didn't know how long they stood there, learning the feel and taste of each other, delights they had long denied themselves, with only the sound of crickets and the glow of moonlight surrounding them. 

"We should get back to the reception," Rory suggested but her actions belied her words; she tipped her head up for yet another drugging kiss. 

"Mmm…" Tristan answered, his attention focused on her neck. "I'd rather stay here and make up for lost time." 

Rory wouldn't find the will to refute that. And as Tristan's lips claimed hers for yet another kiss, she dimly acknowledged that Luke had been right. Maybe she could repay him by hiding the Hello Kitty set… 


End file.
